The first time your little angel does something not so angelic catches every doting parent off guard. “Children today are said to be more rebellious and disobedient.” Carol Njeri Gitari, a leading psychologist based at The Karen Hospital and Hermitage Garden notes. “However increase in rebellion might be exaggerated due to greater reporting that witnesses once isolated cases widely publicized in media platforms alerting others who try it out in a bid to conform.” Public opinion blames recent wild incidents on lax and deteriorating parenting techniques that allow children to break the rules with shocking boldness and bask in rebellion, which is considered cool.
Factors for Rebellion & Disobedience
“A number of things have changed opposed to previous generations that contribute to the current generation’s troubles. An individualistic society unlike previous decades when mothers were never alone in raising children and extended family, neighbors and friends bore responsibility for all the children in their area. Increased standards of living keeps parents away from their children substituting money for the time deficit. Increased societal pressure and competition leads to long school hours and less time for play which not only weakens child-parent bonding but denies them critical thinking and development skills necessary in life that are conceptualized through play.” Explains Dr. Gitari who has gained unique insight working various TV and radio stations before warning against society’s dangerous generalization of this vastly complex situation.
Keep Calm (Choosing Discipline over punishment)
Adult disciplining of children should be designed to help children engage better with others and to modify or control their behavior in order to fit into society. Rules should be clearly set and the consequences of breaking each clearly explained beforehand.” Dr. Gitari explains. The standoff that comes after the ‘crime’ is crucial to your child’s development and future behavior as it sets a precedent dictating how imminent situations are handled. “Before disciplining, ensure you are calm and look for the why behind behavior and encourage the child’s cooperation and understanding for them to take it as a learning opportunity.”
Why corporal punishment often fails
Corporal punishment in African context has long been considered an acceptable and preferred means of punishment. Dr. Gitari clarifies why sparing the rod may save your child and your conscience. “Psychologists do not recommend corporal punishment mainly because despite appearing to achieve instant behavior modification, it has long term detrimental effects. It does not facilitate learning instead halting the unwanted behavior only in the guardian’s presence, or scaring the child into submission. While it may teach a child what not to do, it fails to teach a child what is expected of him or her and alternative behavior.”
“Children who have been disciplined through corporal punishment suffered long-term aggression and antisocial behavior characterized in different traits through to adulthood. Physical discipline may teaches children violence is acceptable for conflict resolution, increases anxiety and fear, lowers self esteem, increased rebellion and aggression, possible physical injury and alienation from guardians.”
Better ways to instill lasting discipline
Dr. Gitari counsels parents who find themselves at the end of their rope on how to give their children credit to understand and explain not only that something is wrong but also why and how it affects life. “Children taught rely on their resources rather than their parents grow into responsible adults who are self-reliant, respectful and self-controlled. This is best achieved through constituent and positive disciplining techniques. Be clear about the rules and explain the natural consequences of disobedience e.g. a child who won’t dress warmly gets ill and the logical consequences e.g. the ill child cannot play with others because they will get infected.”
“Other modes of disciplining that leave lasting impressions are withdrawal of privileges tied to the unacceptable behavior e.g. taking away toys you find strewn around the house and model good behavior by not expecting your kids to do as you say when it is contrary to what they observe you do.” Do not be the kind of parent who never catches your kids doing something right, reward them for good behavior in appropriate proportions taking care not to bribe.
ristozetu 
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